i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
