if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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