Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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