Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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