You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
His nipple licking is glorious
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