she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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