The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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