i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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