He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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