Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
