This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
