i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
