Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
