Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
