drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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