God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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