Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
