Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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