do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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