He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so let's talk penis.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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