I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
