absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
