dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
