My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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