Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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