so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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