Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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