Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
