My friends, they love my intelligence
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
