I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
