We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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