My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
