wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
How's work?
Spinning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
