I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
