so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
