I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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