Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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