Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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