I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
