is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
