She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
