But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm always down for nudity.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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