youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
