I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
