thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
