we have pet lesbian snakes
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
someone owes me an orgasm
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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