i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
