I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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