dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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