I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
ugly people sure do ruin things
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
