at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
