Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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