i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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