cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
